Justin Bieber Retires at 16, Strives to be Fireman
16-year-old Canadian superstar Justin Bieber retires from rap game, strives to become firefighter.
“I really don’t care about mac’n on hos and wearing bling, I’ve always wanted to be a fireman maybe even a spaceman!,” said Bieber.
He goes on to say that being a fireman will allow him to get buffed up and become a real man. Evidentially the 16-year-old small fry pimp feels the money earned from music is just not as satisfying as rescuing Beatrice’s 30 cats from the tree (which she also threw up there).
Twitter unanimously erupted with voices of 40-year-old cougars who knew their dream of enslaving little Bieber would now be worthless, as he would no longer be famous.
“To my many fans, sorry. I must do what feels right in my heart and that is to eat lots of mayonnaise and fight fires, or Martians or maybe even Nazi’s. We are still fighting the Nazi’s right?” stated Bieber.